Baby Fairies

My Little Snow Fairy by Katmary
Licensed under Creative Commons

I really want a baby.  I don't hide this desire well at all.  Many people at my church know me as that lady who's always holding other people's babies.  I've been asked many times, even by people I don't know that well, whether my husband and I are trying.

When it seemed like trying was far in the future I had no issues answering this question.  Now that trying is closer (but not as close as I'd like),  I find myself being much more shy, and often quite rude, with my responses to the question.  I've recently been told by my doctor that I shouldn't try for six weeks because of some issues my body is having.  I'm pretty depressed about it.  A while ago my husband and I thought we'd be trying around this time.  We're both excited, me more than him, though.  I'm grateful that it probably won't be more than six weeks.  Still, six weeks seems like forever to me right now.

I feel like I'm meant to be a mom.  I like to think that fairies are out in the universe waiting to become the soul of my baby.  It makes it a bit easier to wait for the physical form of my baby to think that the spiritual parts are already there.  Also, I like to think that I can already communicate with them.  We already love each other, even though the physical baby is just an idea right now.