The Fairy Delusion

Garden Waterfall Pond by Andrew Rollinger
Licensed under Creative Commons

There is a quote by children's author Rose Fyleman which goes, "There are fairies at the bottom of our garden."  It's actually the title of a poem she wrote in Fairies and Chimneys.  Richard Dawkins referred to this quote in his book The God Delusion when he wrote, "There may be fairies at the bottom of the garden. There is no evidence for it, but you can't prove that there aren't any, so shouldn't we be agnostic with respect to fairies?"  Obviously, I feel that I should not be agnostic with respect to fairies.  I much prefer to believe there are fairies at the bottom of the garden and everywhere else in the universe.

The God Delusion is Dawkins' well-presented argument for atheism and agnosticism.  I agree with him that such views are healthy and should not be stigmatized.  However, I feel like Dawkins is missing something about theism, or in my instance the belief in fairies.  Yes, we certainly can be agnostic with respect to fairies.  The garden is beautiful whether you believe fairies to be at the bottom of it or not.  The gardener(s) who worked on the garden deserve credit for the effort and talent they put into it.  The recognition of fairies in the garden does not dismiss that; it simply acknowledges that the garden is capable of reminding us that there is more to this world's beauty than can be explained.  There is a special mystery.  I'm grateful to the gardener(s) and the fairies for the experience of the garden.

Reflections

Getting Ready for the Fairy Ball by Ida Rentoul Othwaite

I recently read an old sermon by Serena Castells.  It was inspirational.  She was able to capture human communication at it's core.  She wrote:

When we have an idea that we want to share, what we want and hope for in return isn’t a compliment on how original or wise it was.  What we want is to be understood.  We want reflections of our ideas offered back to us in response.  We want people to feel the same way, and share their own ideas that relate to ours.

I am writing this blog to find and define my own spiritual beliefs.  It helps me to figure it out for myself by simply writing it down. However, my biggest hope is that by sharing my blog, I'm able to show my readers that my ideas relate to theirs, and also that theirs relate somehow to mine.  This desire to be reflected is probably the reason why most art, music, and literature is created.  As Castells put it:

There are countless artists, writers, and musicians whose work is mostly autobiographical. Though they speak of their own thoughts, fears, and loves, their audience relates to their work on a deeply personal level.

Through such arts humanity is able to be reflective of itself through time.  Long dead poets remain relevant and reflective to people today.

It's beautiful that humanity wants to share their experiences and be understood by one another.  I wish I did a better job of understanding others, and them me, or perhaps just that I was better at communicating to others that I understand them, and that they were better at communicating that they understand me as well.  Although I read many blogs, I rarely ever comment or otherwise (as Castells may say) echo their ideas.  Even when talking to people directly I find it difficult to show how I relate to them.

There is a quote, which the source in unknown, that says, "Every time a story is told, a fairy is born."  Its a beautiful quote.  The way I believe in fairies, though, fairies aren't born; they just exist.  I do believe that through sharing our stories, whether they be joyful or sorrowful, humanity is able to find their own fairies, by simply reflecting off of eachother.  Let us encourage each other to find humanity's fairies through the sharing our stories.

The Afterlife

Afterlife by James Breeden, San Francisco
Used with permission

What happens when we die is another one of those questions which humanity has come up with several different answers to.  It's related to the metaphor of God in that we are dealing in spiritual mystery.  Like God, one has the choice to believe in afterlife, or not.  I think in most cases they are a pair.  If one believes in God, or another name for God, than they believe in some sort of afterlife as well.  I recently read a post on the Rev. Dr. Victoria Weinstein's blog PeaceBang which reminded me of how I view afterlife.  She wrote:

What I believe is that after we die (or maybe I just stick to 'I' statements - I have no idea what happens to everyone - maybe the afterlife is an individualized experience or culturally specific in some way) - after I die, all the spirit energy that is Victoria Weinstein will be released from my body and become part of the universe.

This is a very similar concept to how afterlife was presented in the trilogy His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman.  In the series, spirits must journey through an underworld to arrive on a world where (as Weinstein would put it) their spirit energy is released.  It is reunited with previously released spirit energy across the universe.  As Pullman wrote in The Amber Spyglass, ". . . it won't be nothing. We'll be alive again in the raindrops and blowing in the fresh breeze; we'll be glittering in the dew under the stars and the moon out there in the physical world, which is our true home and always was."  When I first read all of the books in the trilogy I remember being so appreciative of how afterlife was presented.  It seemed beautiful and much more meaningful than simply only living on in the memories of those still living, so I borrowed the ideas for my own spiritual beliefs.

When I adapted my spirituality to include fairies it only slightly changed how I explained afterlife to myself, in that the terminology changed to include them.  When I die the fairies that make up my spirit will be released into the universe, just as the fairies of those whom have died before me were. They will be able to become part of the spirit of other things in the world and the universe.  In a way, the fairies of those whom have died before me are still with me.  They are still able to help me when I have need of them.  My fairies will be able to help those who survive me as well.

Princess Merida's Wisps

Fairy Light, Wind Fairy by Katanerial
Licensed under Creative Commons

I got to see the movie Brave twice over the summer.  It was a great film.  In it, Princess Merida encounters wisps, which are light fairies.  The wisps led Merida on a difficult path.  Eventually, it did get her to where she needed to be.  My interpretation is that the wisps knew that they were leading the princess onto a difficult journey.  They did so anyway, in hopes that she would eventually arrive at the right place.

The portrayal of the wisps in Brave was spiritually relevant to me.  Here's what they reminded me of:

1. Fairies do tend to lead us humans down difficult paths.  Just as how they led Merida down a path that she believed would help her, but actually made things much more difficult for her for a time.
2. Sometimes its difficult to find fairies, especially when we feel we need them the most.  In the film, the princess must find the wisps again in order to get the help she required, due to the circumstances of following the wisps in the first place.
3. It often does require the help of someone else to help us find fairies.  It was Merida's mother who was able to help her find the wisps again and to get the help Merida needed.
4. Fairies mean well, though it may be difficult to see that at times.  The journey was rough, but Merida really needed to travel that way to get to where she needed to go.

I'm quite grateful that I was able to see this film when I did.  It was actually quite influential in helping me find my fairies.  One of the reasons I did choose fairies was because I really like the ways they are often portrayed in such fairy tales.

I Choose Fairies

Sad Fairy by KatMary
Licensed under Creative Commons

In the documentary Raw Faith, the Rev. Dr. Marilyn Sewell said, "No one can prove or disprove the presence of God.  One chooses to believe or not, to take Kierkegarrd's ‘leap of faith’ or not.  I choose to believe."  I had a similar sentiment toward God growing up, only I chose not to believe.  Instead I ignored spirituality altogether, because it was too complicated.  Growing up Unitarian Universalist has many benefits.  One of them is being taught a lot about other religions, beliefs, spiritual practices, and science.  The big questions in life have billions of answers to them.  I felt unable to come to conclusions for myself.  I was a spiritual person, I think, I just didn't have a spirituality.  That probably makes no sense, but I don't know how to better explain it.

When the pains in life got to be too much I was unable to really go to anything spiritual to somewhat relieve the pain.  That is one of the main reasons for spirituality, to help relieve life's pains.  Eventually, I realized that what did help was thinking of the fairies of my childhood.  Hence, why I have now based my spirituality on fairies.  In a way, I re-embraced the fairy theology I had at the age of seven and modified it to fit my needs as an adult.

In the film, Sewell also said, "God is the most common name for that which we cannot name.  Many other names are used including Beloved Holy One, the Sacred, the Great Mystery.  We should understand that all naming is merely metaphor because we are dealing in mystery."  UUs have collected a number of many other names for that metaphor.  I decided to name that mystery "fairies" for myself, and chosen to believe.  I choose fairies because thinking of fairies relieves the pains in my life better than any other name for the mystery.  It is simply what seems to work at this time in my life.

The Universe is in Us

When I shared with my husband that I believed fairies to be the spirits of stardust he showed me this awesome quote from Neil deGrasse Tyson presented by Zen Pencils, which has been made into the video I've shown above.  The video artistically shares Tyson's response when he was asked by a TIME magazine reader, "What is the most astounding fact in the universe?"  According to Tyson:

The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on earth, the atoms that make up the human body, are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core, under extreme temperatures and pressure. These stars, when unstable in their later years, collapsed and exploded, scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy.  Guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself.  These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense and then collapse, forming the next generation of solar systems, stars with orbiting planets.  And these planets now have the ingredients for life.  So when I look up at the night sky, I know that yes we are part of this universe.  We are in this universe.  But perhaps more important than both of those facts, is that the universe is in us.

The universe being in us is such a beautiful sentiment.  It's very relatable to how I view fairies.  Fairies are in us too, as the spirits of stardust (or enriched guts of stars, as Tyson so eloquently puts it).  Just as the stardust works together to form our cells, and the cells work together to form our body, so do the fairies work together to form our spirit.

Stardust

Cosmic dust of the Horsehead Nebula
from NASA's Hubble Space Telescope

I recently listened to the podcast of Rev. Katie Norris' service When All is Lost.  In this service Norris says, "I find more comfort in the story of the universe, and the fact that we all go back to being stardust one day, than the idea of going to heaven when we die."  This quote, as well as the rest of the service, inspired a somewhat more defined belief in fairies to me.  It was the first time I heard the term stardust.  What Norris was really referring to is cosmic dust; stardust is technically a small percentage of cosmic dust.  Regardless, stardust sounds prettier than cosmic dust, so I'm going to continue the inaccurate use of the word.

Anyway, I now like to think of fairies as the spirits of stardust.  This doesn't mean that every particle of dust has a fairy in it, but fairies and stardust do have some sort of affiliation with each other.  They are similar in that they have existed (effectively) forever and will remain forever.  Also, they are similar in the way that both are required for life, especially human life, to exist.  In the sermon, Norris discussed how she had to adapt her theology after she learned that her mom has Alzheimer's.  Her old one stressed the importance of memories, logic, and science and she adapted it to include the importance of community since just the previous three no longer seemed to be enough.  I see my own theology as being quite similar and I believe fairies to be influential in both the memories and community parts of my theology.  Fairies create the collective consciousness of the universe.  To do this they associate with individual consciousnesses as well.  They empathize with all of our feelings including love, joy, and sorrow.  There is also a likeness of them to the Force in Star Wars.  We cannot use them to move physical objects like the Jedi can.  However, we can use fairies to improve ourselves and our community, or to hurt ourselves and our community.  Fairies prefer to be used for good though.  In order to use fairies for good, we must find and share fairies by living our lives in a way we cherish and sharing our cherished life with others.

Baby Laughs and Butterfly Wings

Elves and Fairies by Cicely Mary Barker

I feel quite silly thinking about fairies sometimes because it seems like such a childish thing to do, especially considering the place fairies hold in popular children's literature.  For example, one of the most popular quotes from Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie is:

When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.

I like how beautiful Peter Pan made the creation of fairies sound.  However, these fairies are not the type of fairies I base my spirituality on.  My fairies existed long before the first baby laughed; they do not look like miniature elves with butterfly wings either.  Though, I very much appreciate the imagery of fairies made popular in the beginning of the twentieth century by such authors and artists as Barrie and Cicely Mary Barker.

Barker's art in particular was quite influential on my cousins obsession with fairies (which I explain a bit in a previous post).  Prints of her images hung in their house.  They inspired my cousins, and as such inspired my beliefs in fairies as well.  When I was a kid I remember wanting to be pretty and kind like the fairies in her images seemed to be.   Her art still inspires me today.  The Elves and Fairies image above is the only sample of Barker's fairy artwork which is in the public domain; otherwise I would plaster my blog with them.  Even though the traditional fairies that she drew and painted are not the types of fairies I believe in today, I still like to think of them as the mascots for my type of fairies.  My fairies are completely abstract, but like Barker's fairies they are quite beautiful.

The Truth is Out There

The Truth is Out There by Boris Mrdja
Licensed under Creative Commons

"The truth is out there" is a quote made popular by the T.V. series The X-Files.  I don't know if they came up with it, but they certainly used it a lot.  This was my favorite show when I was a tween.  Growing up Unitarian Universalist, I was encouraged to do "a free and responsible search for truth and meaning."  That's the fourth principle of the religion.  This made the quote "the truth is out there" seem all that more inspiring to me.  So much so that it was my eighth grade coming of age credo (yeah, the entire credo).

When it comes to the truth, I feel like I've always known enough of the science stuff, or at least knew where to find those types of answers.  My dad, school textbooks, and my science teachers stuffed me so full of it that I didn't really care for it.  I really appreciate the truth in science.  However, I differentiate the truth there is in science and the spiritual truth, as I'm sure many others do.  The spiritual truth has always been much more complicated.  In a way, everyone creates their own spiritual truth, and everyone's spiritual truth probably only makes sense to themselves.  Even Christians going to the same church, reading the same bible, and listening to the same sermons and services will interpret the information to suit their individual brand of spirituality.  My individual brand of spirituality being based on fairies seems like its far outside the box of normal individual spiritualities.  I suppose that's expected to happen when one is raised UU though.

Growing Up with Fairies

The Cotton Wool of the Dandelion
by Yun Free Stock Photos
 ©Tomo. Yun

The start of my believing in fairies came from my cousins.  One of them went by the name of Pixie at a summer camp we all attended.  She tried to give my sisters and I fairy related nicknames too.  I was Sylph.  I never really got called that though.

Pixie's younger sister was even more influential though.  She taught me all about fairies.  To her they were physical beings who brought light and kindness into the world.  You couldn’t see fairies, but you could see something close, in white dandelions, and the cottony stuff from cottonwood trees.  I was once reprimanded for kicking a dandelion to spread the seeds.  That would hurt the fairies, you see.  If you wanted to spread dandelion seeds you had to blow on  them.  I don’t think I ever believed in fairies the way my cousin did.  I came up with my own way, but it all started with her.

I Have a Secret

Photo by Krystn Palmer Photography
Licensed under Creative Commons

Welcome to my blog.  The purpose of this blog is for me to share my thoughts on spirituality and the world.  My spiritual beliefs are based on fairies.  To find out more about what I mean by this you will just have to continue reading my blog.

I chose this photo for my first blog post because it was pretty, and also because it was titled I Have a Secret, which is how I feel about this blog.  It is a secret that I believe in fairies, or at least it was.